The funeral company grew so concerned that it took a photograph of the man, thought to be in his 40s, and distributed the picture to its branches.

“Certainly he had a backpack with some containers so when people weren’t looking, he was stocking up,” Langstraat told the newspaper.

He said the man was “always very quiet and polite, and did as the rest of the mourners did in paying his respects”.

Langstraat said the man stopped coming after one staff member took him aside and told him he could come to funerals but could not take food home with him.

Funeral Directors Association president Tony Garing told the newspaper that such cases happened occasionally but it was difficult to stop people from coming or call their behavior theft because funerals were usually public events.

Not Sabatelle's, but the best I could find. image from Ralph's

I have had this post sitting in my draft folder, waiting for the proper time to post it. Creepy around the holidays, somehow inappropriate when someone I knew, even through casual acquaintances, has died. But someone did die, unexpectedly, and I never knew them, but I know someone close to them very well. They are a close family friend. The friend you call when you lock your keys inside your house, inside your car while it’s running, parked at a gas pump, multiple times a year. The friend you call to borrow their truck to pick up your new 1950′s bedroom set, grill, or bookshelf. The friend you call when you get arrested, get stuck in the snow, get your house broke into, have your basement flood over Thanksgiving Eve night. Yeah, that really happened. We still had one of the best dinners ever.

They are also the kind of friend you enjoy having a drink with more than most, who taught you to shoot your first gun, who you can trust with your life, and does a pretty bang up job at being all things to all people.

Some people give. Some people give more. And when they do, it seems unfair that they still have to lose someone close to them just like the rest of us. But they do.

When that time comes, and you have offered kind words and hugs, go out and purchase a meat tray. Not some rolled turkey and cubed-orange-cheese nightmare. A proper meat tray. Prosciutto should be invited to this platter. The highest quality you can find. And of course some great neighborhood bread. We are lucky to have a great little Italian store, Sabatelle’s, in a small town near my childhood house, which should be everyone’s standard when sending funeral food. If you console with sub-par food, you are giving sub-par love.  Even though Jim did not grow up with the sending-food-after-a-death custom, and thinks it’s weird, I think it’s required, and seems obvious to me. Most people don’t want to cook on a normal day. After losing a loved one, they aren’t even thinking about eating. There will be a ton of people in and out of their house, and those people need some food comfort. Plus they will eventually feel like eating, and you don’t want them eating jelly and old pickles from their fridge.

Do not stop at the meat tray. Meatballs, coffee, porketta, and of course booze are always welcomed. Think of doing this for the next couple of weeks, not just the funeral weekend. Grieving does not have a three-day limit. Watch their house, watch their pets, even their kids if that’s what is needed. Put gas in their car, get their mail, do their laundry. Small kindness is the kind I notice most, so that’s what my brain automatically tells me to do. So if your cousin dies, I might end up cleaning your car. Even if you’ve only met me once. Really, it’s not that strange.

So yes, even in the most terrible of times, food again can at least salvage, if not save the day.

And as I leave this less than happy post behind, I want to thank my mother for agreeing to never die. Ever. There are not enough meat trays in the world.

image from hotdawgtruck.com

Echo Mountain from Rogue Creamery in Central Point, Oregon

I have come to a decision that if you buy bottled blue cheese dressing or dip we can no longer be friends. I think our friendship is worth 3 minutes to make some yourself. Don’t you?

I remember growing up and getting blue cheese dip in the plastic tub, which I think was supposed to be some kind of upgrade for lazy people. Just because it is refrigerated and not shelved (blehk), does not make it better. High fructose corn syrup has no business sniffing around blue cheese. And for your mouth’s flavor and touch receptor’s sake don’t even look a second time at blue cheese crumbles. Pretend you just saw your parents making out and walk away. Blue cheese doesn’t just decide it want to stay crumbled. It has binders added to it. Keep away.

Some people turn their nose up at the mention of the pungent blue, but it can be an acquired taste, so don’t write it off forever. I didn’t always like strong blue cheese, and now I eat a slab for dinner. With bread of course.

One of my favorites is the Echo Mountain cheese (as seen above). It is seasonal, and available right now. You do not need to use the best blue cheese when making dressing or dip, but don’t use garbage cheese either. Use what you can afford. That means maybe paying your bills late, not buying cheap cheese.

Cornichons, olives, strawberry preserves, and pretty girl blue, Echo Mountain.

Blue Cheese Dip/Dressing

1 1/4 cup crumbled-by-you blue cheese (I like mine only a tad chunky, not completely creamy. Adjust to your liking.)

1 cup mayonnaise

1/4 cup sour cream

2 tbls. fresh lemon juice

1 tbls. freshly ground pepper ( I know it’s a pain, but no cheating)

Cholula hot sauce to taste

pinch of salt

buttermilk : adjust for desired thickness

Mix everything together.

Eat.

* Put some in your favorite biscuit recipe, use it for blue cheese coleslaw, pipe it into olives or dates,put it on your steak, or use it as a pizza base.

Buffalo chicken bites. Not exactly the same as from home, but they did in an unwavering craving.

For all things cheese, go here:

http://www.murrayscheese.com/

And here. These are two of my favorite cheese blogs:

http://brielegrandfromage.blogspot.com/

http://itsnotyouitsbrie.com/

Thanks for all the love and support while I have been in school. My frequency of writing has no reflection on how much I love you guys. Hang in there, a pie or something has got to be made soon. While these spritz are addicting, I need to make some bread pronto. I miss my oven.

Valentine's Day spritz cookies.

“People who know nothing about cheeses reel away from Camembert, Roquefort, and Stilton because the plebeian proboscis is not equipped to differentiate between the sordid and the sublime.”
Harvey Day

-David Dunham

Well hello knife cuts from weeks ago, how have you been? They have been hanging with all the other things I did in school and didn’t post about. Six weeks go by like eating a taco. You’re all like that was the best taco (six weeks) ever, I devoured that taco (culinary information) so quickly, and savored every second of that spicy meat (class), did I just eat (take) four (20+) tacos (quizzes, tests, and practicals) that fast (that fast)?

We took one field trip down the road to a Filipino supermarket, made hollandaise, mayonnaise, an impromptu soup in 20 minutes with no meat or broth, made hollandaise, grilled salmon, had half an hour to mess around with plating non- edible food, had trussing demos, chicken butchering, squid, sole, and salmon filleting demos, made gazpacho with only brunoise cuts (which is even less satisfying when you are going to throw it all in a blender), had stock, roux, and bisque, and mother sauce demos, made a roux, oh and all the while sanitation was boring the hell out of me. A whole book of Serv Safe, and the most important thing I learned is wash your hands. Seriously, it’s the answer to most of the secrets of the universe. Oh, and terrorists are one of the saboteurs that will try and jack up your food. Terrorists, people.

Lobster Bisque

It’s a new feeling for me to look forward to going anywhere everyday. Every day. I get fidgety. Not here. The first six weeks was a lot of introduction, but also a chance for me to find out little details about things. It’s weird being in a class with people who don’t know who Anthony Bourdaine or Thomas Keller are, but then I never filleted a fish. We all have different knowledge, which I love most of the time (except for some venison butchering that came up once too much, there is a creep limit, buy a book, or google it). Of course there are a tiny few poky people, and what I like to call culinairheads, but for the most part we have a really great class. Being at the top of my class with people who are friends is pretty great too. It’s so nice to be able to talk about food and food nerd-related things, and not have to worry when you have to stop (at least I hope so).

week 2

I need to hustle more, and with zero knife skill practicing at home (I know, I know), I need to make cuts way faster. I do have less waste with my cuts. Yay me. My hand torture, I mean made mayo and hollandaise, is tops, but I look forward to you food processor mayo, my wrist does too.

week 2

This is just a fraction of the last six weeks, but just imagine the other parts being just as positive and smile inducing. Monday I start Culinary II, and no sanitation. Did I mention no sanitation?

This has been the extent of cooking since I have started school. Chicken scampi farfalle. While delicious, I miss cooking for real.

All in all it’s been a marvelous six weeks filled with pasta, fried rice, sandwiches, and breakfast for dinner. I did finally get to cook this weekend. That will have to hold me for six more weeks

Béchamel

If you’ve made gravy, or stew before, a roux was most likely your road to thickening. It is also a major player in our next two mothers sauces. That’s four if you are counting. I am saving sauce tomate for last. It will get its own little post. After all she is the crimson princess.

A roux is equal parts (by weight) fat (butter, oil, animal fats) to equal parts bread flour, cooked to the desired color.  A good roux is stiff, not runny. There are three types of roux: white, blond, and brown. Remember, the darker your roux, the less thickening power it has. A roux is good to use in sauces that require medium to long cooking times, since you will need to cook long enough to rid your sauce of the raw flour taste. Other thickening agents are: egg yolk, cornstarch, arrowroot, vegetable purees, bread crumbs, and beurre manie. A beurre manie is equal parts (by weight) fat and flour that are uncooked. A beurre manie is used for quick thickening at the end of cooking to finish a sauce. You can keep this mixture at room temperature, to have on hand when needed. Another way to thicken is to make a slurry, which is a starch (cornstarch, arrowroot, corn, potato, or rice flour), mixed with cold water. Starches are less stable than a roux, so it can lose its thickening ability if added to an acidic sauce, or cooked too long.

roux<bechamel and veloute<small sauces

Roux

2 oz. butter

2 oz. flour

Melt butter over medium heat.

Once foamy, add flour all at once.

Stir well, and allow to cook at least 1 minute.

For roux blond, continue cooking until it begins to color.

For roux brun, continue cooking until darker color is achieved.

* Always add cold into hot, or hot into cold. Cold stock into hot roux, or hot stock into cooled roux. This will help prevent lumping, and give you a smoother sauce.

Veloute

roux blanc

chicken, or veal stock, or fish fumet

bouquet garni

1. Make a roux blanc (see above), and allow it to cool.

2. Heat the chicken stock.

3. Pour hot stock into cool roux.

4. Whisk until roux has dissolved and the mixtures begin to thicken.

5. Add bouquet garni, and allow to come to a low boil.

6. Skim the scum!

7. Leave to simmer until thickened.

8. Remove bouquet garni, strain through a fine sieve, or chinois.

9. The veloute should be thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Here are some small sauces you can get from veloute: poulette, Bercy, curry, Normandy, Venetian, and Hungarian.

Bechamel

roux:

8oz. clarified butter

8oz. bread flour

1 gallon of milk

1 bay leaf

1 whole small onion, peeled

1 whole clove

1. Salt, pepper, and nutmeg to taste.

2. Make a white roux (see above), and allow to cool slightly.

3. Gradually add the milk to the roux, beating constantly.

4. Bring the sauce to a boil, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to simmer.

5. Stick the bay leaf to the onion with the clove. Simmer at least 15 minutes, if possible 30 minutes or more, stirring occasionally.

6. Adjust consistency with more hot milk, if necessary.

7. Season lightly. Spice should not dominate.

8. Strain.

Here are some small sauces you can get from bechamel: Mornay sauce, cheese sauce, soubise sauce, and mustard sauce.

As if school wasn't great enough, I get to eat too!

Chef's plate, our tasting. Pork with charcuterie sauce, mash, and cornichons.

Hollandaise

Like a dog, I thought hollandaise would sense the apprehension on me, and not want to cooperate. Good thing this hollandaise was a cat.

We had a demo, then it was our turn to emulsify some magic. I broke my first one right before it was finished. My fault. I added to much butter at once. Patience! Next one, much better. That was last week. I practiced once at home that weekend. Today, we had twenty minutes to make one. A surprise that I aced. And the only one in class that served at temperature! Woo hoo!

Hollandaise

2 egg yolks

lemon juice to taste, start with 2 tsp.

6 oz clarified butter, warmed

salt to taste

In a medium saucepan, bring 1-inch of water to a slow simmer.

In a bowl that is safe for use as a double-boiler, whisk (by hand) egg yolks and lemon juice until you reach the ribbon stage. It is what it sounds like. Whisk will make ribbons in egg yolks.

Over barely simmering water, cook the egg yolks while whisking until thickened. Control your temperature by removing from steam. The bottom of the bowl should be just too hot to touch. If you notice the egg cooking on the side of your bowl, check your burner and bowl temperature, and adjust.

Remove bowl from steam. While whisking, add a few drops of warm clarified butter. You are now starting to emulsify. Add a few more drops. Whisk. You will need to put your bowl back on the steam from time to time to keep a consistent temperature. Keep checking this! Your sauce will break if it gets too hot or too cold. It’s a sauce baby. You need to coddle it. You will know when it breaks. It will be a big greasy mess, and you will feel sad.

Continue to add butter slowly until all is added. Add hot water from you saucepan to loosen your sauce if it becomes too thick. (I have always had to do this). Do not over-whisk at this stage. You will be whipping in cool air, which your warm sauce does not want.

Add salt to taste, and more lemon juice if needed.

*Emulsified sauce: an amount of fat (butter or oil) is introduced to a water based liquid

*They can be hot or cold, and the fat is incorporated off the heat to ensure emulsification.

*Hollandaise is a hot emulsified sauce.

*Hollandaise can accompany many fish and vegetables, and of course eggs Benedict.

*Hollandaise is also a foundation for a number of other sauces (mousseline and mustard)

*Hollandaise is one of the five “mother” sauces. Mother sauces are leading or primary sauces.

Mayonnaise

1 egg yolk

1/4 tsp. vinegar

1/4 tsp. mustard

4-6 oz oil

salt to taste

lemon juice to taste

Whisk all ingredients except oil.

Slowly whisk in oil, creating an emulsion. Mayo will thicken as you whisk. Adjust seasoning if necessary.

*Mayonnaise is also one of the five “mother” sauces.

*Variations include: aioli (basically mayo), tarter sauce, remoulade, and gribiche.

*Herbs, citrus, and other flavorings can be added to make a derivative sauce.

*Mayonnaise is a cold emulsified sauce.

emulsion: a stable liquid mixture in which one liquid is suspended in tiny globules throughout another

lecithin: most common emulsifier, found in eggs and mustard. One end of the lecithin molecule dissolves in fat and the other end of the molecule dissolves in water – bringing the water and fat together.

Culinary school is about learning technique, not recipes. If my recipes seem not exact or not written in a strict sense, this is because I have written with the purpose of getting you to focus on your technique and palate, instead of your measuring spoons and cups. I know it may be hard at first, but soon (very soon), it becomes freeing. I prom promise.